It’s 1:30 in the morning and here I sit with a laptop on my knees, a baby snorgling (really…she already has a cold) next to me and some bad reruns on TV to entertain my brain while I wait for the imp to completely crash. Somehow, in the last two and half weeks, I have lost complete control over any “free time” that used to exist in my life. Somehow? OH YEAH! Babies will do that to ya, huh? Truthfully, the bigger hurdle for me has been the very painful and not-so-smooth recovery from my c-section. It means I can’t pick up anything heavier than our now 7 pound little one… nor walk far… nor do the stairs in our house… etc. THAT is killing me. More than anything in the world, I miss carrying and playing with Zoe. Now, since I’m relatively confined to a minimal movement lifestyle, I have begun to relish my mornings waking up with Zoe in bed with me and the baby in the bassinet nearby. At least when we wake up together, I can cuddle her, tickle and play a bit more. We sing songs together (now we are making up songs about the two sisters), count fingers and toes, and decide on breakfast. (She typically wishes to opt OUT of breakfast for more toy-time with Buzz Lightyear and Grammy who is here to save the day while I recover.) Thank goodness for slow waking mornings, no work (yet) and a happy souled child.
And since my writing time is limited (mostly by Zoe’s desire to help me type….not so helpful, actually), I have found that this time of night (or the last night feeding) has my brain working overtime. I have found myself revisiting writing topics and thoughts that I had when teaching writing. When time moved slowly enough that everyone stopped to just write for 15 minutes. I miss that time. I think writing helps me organize my world and learning. While I don’t consider myself “a writer”, writing comes from the heart and soul of who i am and I have always found myself writing or doodling my world around me. It helps me think about the lessons life has taught me and the ones I am still trying hard to learn. In fact, I found this site: Plinky.com that gives people writing prompts just to get started. The one I found tonight was “Share what you’ve learned lately”. Oh, I had to cover my chuckle a bit so as not to wake the household up. What have I learned lately? OH MY. Here’s my list. I hope you will share yours too. Truly! I want to know what you are learning lately too!
- When baby and toddler naps coincide, EVERYONE in the house is happy and napping. And when they don’t, it makes for a long day.
- There is no way I will wake up for the first few hours of the early morning…which is perfect as there is NO way my love WON’T wake up then. (And conversely, he can’t seem to wake in the early morning when I can. I’m telling you…match-made-in-heaven!)
- My local CostCo (thank you, Mom, for the first outing NOT to a doctor’s office in almost THREE WEEKS!) carries frozen GREEN garbanzo beans!?!?! Needless to say, I am now the proud owner of a monster-sized bag of these little babies. My brain is whirling with ideas. now.. if only my body will have the energy to pull the ideas together. I know the Chicklet will munch on a few for lunch a la edamame (like she LOVES) but am not sure just what I will do with the rest. Have any ideas to share?
- If there is ONE diaper to change…. there will definitely be another at the *exact same time* as the first. That’s just the way it is around here.
- There is no better cure for slow healing than your Mom. No matter how old you are. I almost snuck in to bed with her at 5:30 in the morning yesterday just for a cuddle.
- I have no idea how I arrived at the girls’ pediatrician appointments on time as I have been unable to organize any other outing in any timely manner since. (It must have been Divine Intervention.)
- You can read a story 8,000 times in a row. You will still be asked to read it again and the giggles will still come – as will the screeches of delight and terror (the Chicklet is currently freaked out by gloves…long story about a high school kid stocking milk and thinking it would be funny to reach his gloved hand out over the milk jugs and growl “ROAR” at my barely two-year old daughter who was traumatized.) Who knew that “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie” could provide such a wide range of emotions repeatedly?
- There is nothing sweeter than holding my Love’s hand as we cuddle the two little sisters together. Nothing.
- There are so many more things I need to learn – and will learn – as this parenting adventure continues, Part of me is completely exhausted at the mere thought of the adventures to come and the other parts of me tingle with curiosity and intrigue. I want to cherish every second with my girls while they are young but I long to know them and see them when they are bigger. i wonder what they will be like, what will make them laugh, what will drive them, where they will go/travel, what adventures we can share, etc. but I don’t want my wondering about their futures to speed up their present or make me miss the beauty of the moment with their little hands in mine. OH LIFE is unfair. Somedays I just want it all to continue for an eternity for us all.
- I am blessed to have BOTH of my parents able to meet and love my children. Children I never thought I would be blessed enough to hold, love and have. Children who I never thought would have the chance to know my Dad’s scratchy beard-kisses, warm hand caresses or silly songs that he sings. Or maybe they would miss out on my Mom’s sweet touches, tender loving games, joyful support or their dreams and imaginations. Maybe I just think that by watching my girls interact with my Mom and my Dad, I am able to relive the moments I hold dear in my heart of being little within my Mom and Dad’s loving protection. I am a lucky girl. That much is true.
- I have learned that I need to write. That I love to write. And that writing brings my peace.
What about you? What have you learned this week or recently?
Back again when I get time to type with a recipe for a Fresh Peach Dutch Pancake and/or a low-fat apple-sweetened scrumptious potato salad.
Happy GF adventures and life learning!